Pornography Detaches a Father from his Role in the Home

One day, after 11 years of marriage, my husband came home from work and told me that he had been suspended for a day without pay for viewing pornography at work. His only reason for telling me was because I handle the budget and I would have noticed that his paycheck amount was less. His boss even offered to help him hide it from me, which is disturbing. I was completely blindsided. 

This coming year, I will have two daughters in middle school. Coming from over a decade in youth ministry, I have some idea of the challenges that lie ahead. One area I am less confident in is technology, especially technology in the hands of kids, due to the always-everywhere access to the internet, including access to hardcore pornography.  

With testosterone running through his veins, a man’s sexual engine is always on idle, 24/7. Just as resistance in physical exercise builds muscle mass and strength, a man must go up against that which is greater than himself and that begins with his sexuality as a male. He has to war against it. Not avoid it or run from it, but war against it.  

In some faith circles, it has become fashionable to be transparent, to be “raw and real.” Church leaders with the best of intentions plan an education night or men’s or women’s breakfast on the topic. They open the hearts—only to realize they have nothing in place to really help them. Parishes need to have the tools and resources in place in order to ensure their people who struggle with pornography are put on the path to freedom. 

Here is the deal with porn— it's fake. And the porn industry as a whole makes millions off of it. “Adult films” create a fake reality that we as men could never and will never be able to attain. We walk away from porn telling ourselves I should perform like that man, in fact, I need to be better then that man.