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I am currently from the Chicago area. The last time the Chicago Bears football team won the Superbowl was in 1985. At that time the team was lead by…”Da Coach.”  That’s a parody on the Chicago twang of the 1985 Bear’s head coach Michael Ditka. Since then the Bears have had coaches with names such as, “Lovey.” They have yet to win another Superbowl.

My hometown is Cleveland, Ohio. I grew up knowing the Cleveland Orchestra under the direction of George Szell. Some of the members of the Cleveland Orchestra at that time hated the tyranny of George Szell. However, the tyranny of Maestro Szell beat that Orchestra into becoming, at that time, the undisputed finest Symphony Orchestra in the world. The prima donna players on the 1985 Chicago Bears hated the tyranny of “Da Coach.” But those same players lifted “Da Coach” onto their shoulders in their Superbowl triumph. 

Every Man Needs To Be Called Into Greatness 

Examples like these are countless. They serve to illustrate that in order for males to thrive, to move from being just “males” to becoming authentic, integrated, real, “men, “ males need to go up against something greater than themselves. They need the voice of another male who can beat them (ok, a nicer way of putting it, “call them”) into greatness. Every male needs the voice of  “Da Coach” playing in his head like a CD. This is certainly the case when it comes to males moving beyond lust and pornography.  

Just as resistance in physical exercise builds muscle mass and strength, a man must go up against that which is greater than himself and that begins with his sexuality as a male. He has to war against it. Not avoid it or run from it, but war against it.  

Human sexuality is good and holy. It was created by God. It is what makes us most like God, able to love as God loves, to enter into the one thing we humans desire most:  intimacy and generativity, love and life. That is why it is precisely our sexuality that was most wounded by the Original Sin of Adam and Eve.  

With testosterone running through his veins, a man’s sexual engine is always on idle, 24/7. It is different for the ladies. A man’s sexual engine was designed by God to be always ready to respond to the least tap of the accelerator. For men, this tap of the accelerator comes through visuals, in that instantaneous gap between eye and mind. 

Quitting Porn "Cold Turkey" Is Possible 

A man struggling with lust and pornography can and should use whatever anti-porn guards are available such as Covenant Eyes, buddy systems, support groups, and Sexaholics Annonymous. However, nothing is going to really work unless the voice of “Da Coach” is running through the man’s head. It is the mental equivalent of a Marine drill sergeant’s, “Move it! Move it! Move it! I can’t heearrrr youuuu!!” 

A man simply has to muster the incredible discipline to say, “Enough is enough! No! You are NOT going there today! Come ON! You can do it!” Quitting “cold turkey” is not a myth and not impossible and it can work, especially with porn addiction. 

Oh, you say that’s too hard because you’re addicted? Well here’s what “Da Coach,” says, “I don’t need your excuses. You get your lazy, pampered butt in front of an icon of Jesus Christ and look that face of Jesus in the eyes and say I am not doing this anymore, Lord. I am just not doing this! Help me!!” 

Then make sure you change your pattern, even a slight bit. Don’t go to that iPhone or computer at the same time you usually do. Purge your room of any porn videos, books, etc. Put a holy image in front of or next to your computer, or an image of your spouse or children. 

When you see a pretty face walk by don’t glance up and down the rest of her body as men spontaneously do. Don’t let your eyes go lower than her chin and then look away at something else. Hear the voice of Da Coach saying, “Hey Romeo, knock it off! That’s a person! Not just breasts and butts.”

When you come across one of the many pornified images on billboards, magazine covers, etc. turn the image of the person into a real person. Give the person a name and imagine something about their life. Say a prayer for their healing and conversion and then move on. 

"Good Job! I Knew You Could Do It!"

When a man experiences even a little bit of success with these techniques he has to then play in his head what even “Da Coach” would actually say: “Good job! I knew you could do it!  Ya got what it takes, kid!”  Maleness responds to the two hands of fatherhood—the disciplining, motivating hand and the affirming, congratulatory message on the other hand. So it is with “Da Coach” or even the tyrannical Maestro. 

So it must be in the head of every male.  

Now, no excuses! We love excuses because we live in a time where we are encouraged to nurture our hurts and addictions. We practically identify ourselves by them. “You have to understand. I am this way.” Or, “I have this struggle.”  True, there are reasons that can explain your condition. But reasons are not excuses—a critical distinction seldom made today.  

The fact is we don’t really want to be cured. “What do you mean? Yes, I do want to be free of lust and porn addiction but I can’t. It’s hard.” 

No, you do not want to be cured bad enough. Otherwise, you would play “Da Coach’s” voice in your head, make that fundamental commitment, even go cold turkey and change your habits and patterns.   

If you think what I am saying is impossible, ask the 1985 Bears or Maestro Szell’s Cleveland Orchestra if they thought they were being asked the impossible too. No, they were being motivated to move beyond their own self-imposed limitations and comfort zones, to realize height for themselves they never knew could exist. The voice of “Da Coach” inspired them to become the best. 

Ally Covenant Eyes

Covenant Eyes: Screen Accountability™


Be the best version of you.

Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability is designed to help you live with integrity on your devices by sharing your activity with a trusted friend.

Audience: Adults and supervised minors 
Language: English
Resource Type: Software 
Cost: $15.99 / month.  

Father Thomas J. Loya, STB, MA is currently the pastor of Annunciation Byzantine Catholic parish in Homer Glen, IL. He holds degrees in Fine Art, Theology and Counseling.  Fr. Loya is very dedicated to evangelization through media where he is a regular guest speaker on several Catholic radio programs. His long-running radio program “Light of the East Radio” which can be heard on EWTN Radio affiliates across the United States, brings the beauty of the east to the western world.  Fr. Loya is a conference speaker for the Tabor Life Institute where he has directed many retreats and has been a guest speaker at several international conventions including World Youth Day 2002.  While studying for the priesthood in Rome, Fr. Loya was privileged to hear in person St. John Paul II deliver his monumental teaching on the human person now known as “The Theology of the Body.”  Using his many gifts, talents and life experience Fr. Loya uncovers the ageless beauty and genius of the Sacramental Worldview.